lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
