u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
