how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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