We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
