As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
