there's paper in my vomit.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
