ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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