I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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