I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Alive.
So much puke
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
