I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Rumble strips road head = magical
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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