I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
