Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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