Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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