now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize