May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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