do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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