I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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