Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
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Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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