I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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