Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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