Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
