well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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