I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
