but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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