Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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