Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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