my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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