And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
