He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Duck Duck Cougar?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
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I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
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Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.