its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
