My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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