you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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