Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
