It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
we're so committed to being not committed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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