You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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