Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
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I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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