Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
