I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize