I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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