I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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