dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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