need another drink. this is the easiest way
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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