smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and she was petting her beer can
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
