Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
