How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
