That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
