dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
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Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How does one acquire holy water?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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