I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
