I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
