just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
