Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
