he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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