talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
