My nipple is on Facebook.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
