i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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