Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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