The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
