Well douche your snatch and let's go!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
