oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
